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Expectations vs Instinct

Today I learned an important lesson about following other peoples expectations versus listening to your own instincts. I took Claire to morning day care for the third time. This time I warned her mom would be leaving before we got there. (Ok.. not the brightest idea... but for most things warning about change helps her handle it.) I got there and told her I was living and she clung to me chanting "Only Mommy". So I sat down for about 15 minutes so she could get used to things again. It took most of the time for her to just leave my lap. I told her I was leaving again and she got more upset and clung more. Finally I asked the daycare worker what to do and she said Claire would calm down once I left. Now, seeing this particular set of wailing I had my doubts but maybe the professional new better than me. (I'm sure she does for most kids... but I should remember that I'm the expert on mine.) So I pried Claire off of me, handed her to the worker and walked out the door to hysterical hysterical screaming of "Mommy mommy mommy". Every instinct of my being said turn around but I heard this parade of voices in my head going, "What, you can't leave your kid alone for 2 hours? Don't be a wimp. She'll adjust. Look at all the other kids who are fine. It's only 2 hours." I'm not sure who those voices where since no one was actually saying it to me but I felt like that's what everyone was thinking. So I left.

I got home (just 5 minutes away) burst into tears and told my husband what happened and how I think I shouldn't have left. Being the worlds most practical person he gave me a hug, goes "Listen to your gut and not what you think you 'Should' do. Go get her if you think it's a problem." So back I went. Into the building and sure enough, guess who I hear wailing. :( They said she'd stop but every little thing would set her off again. At this point I remembered that she woke up screaming. That she's teething. That she's been having trouble dealing with weaning. That there were times the past few days that she wouldn't even let daddy touch her and she LOVES daddy! That maybe just maybe my gut was right. That now wasn't the time to make a stand. That I should follow what my husband and I have always tried to do and listen to her and her needs and say thank you that we are in a place in our life where we can.

I spent most of the next 30 minutes playing with her at the daycare to undo the damage. When she was happily playing I left for about 20 minutes and came back but she was already upset again. Right now I'm not sure if it's because she's having a bad day or because daycare isn't working as well as it looked last week. I'll try again Thursday but this time I'm listening to my gut.

Oh, and on that subject I also had a talk with all the imaginary voices that were making me hold my ground on weaning nursing at nap time. Despite the fact we've been over a week with only one nap (where she collapsed from exhaustion) because of the change. She wasn't angry at nap time... at least not after the extra extra prenap rocking and soothing... just not napping. So I've decided to slow the weaning thing down a little and nursed for this nap. And wouldn't you know it... she's actually napping. Which is a good break for both of us. Hey, maybe I do know something about this mommy stuff after all. I just need to remember to listen to myself.

Claire's Busy Day

Today was a busy day. It was Claire's second day going to daycare in the morning. She's going twice a week for two hours. The first day I stayed with her for a while and then left her for a little over an hour. Today she was squirming out of my arms before I was fully in the door. She clung when I said I was leaving but was distracted by a teacher in under a minute. When I came back she was happy and playing with "KIDS". It's awesome! She's loving the social contact and I'm loving the break. I'm hoping to use the time to focus more on my business project.

I was so well rested that even when she never napped I had energy for an exciting afternoon. We had an outside day. Claire splashed in the pool and dug in her sand pile while I gardened and weeded. We ran barefoot in the yard. I read a book on PR while she pretended to be feeding kids. Then we did chalk drawings and came inside and baked hamburger buns to go with dinner. (Elk burgers and fried okra.) She loves eating entire spoonfuls of flour and then dough. I had to hide the rising bread from her to make sure some of it made it into the oven. :)

Finally we had a big milestone. Just as we were going to go upstairs to bath she screamed "Poo" and dove for the potty. I tossed her on just in time and she successfully pooed in the potty!!! Yeah Claire!

The big belated update

Summer has been busy. Really busy! I keep writing great little blog posts in my head and never get them on to the computer. Here's are quick summary update. I'll try and post weekly from now on:

- Took Claire to Alaska for a 2 week driving tour from Anchorage to Fairbanks and back. It was awesome and she was a great traveler. Even handled the one day drive from Fairbanks to the Artic Circle and back. I just had to read the book "Elmo loves you" about 200 hundred times in a row. If you have kids and value your sanity never never never buy the book "Elmo loves you".

- DH (Dearest Husband) had his tonsils out. It really is as bad as they say for adults. He reacted to the pain killers, ended up spending a night in the hospital, had more bad reactions, etc. Thankful he is now fully recovered but it took over 2 weeks. Poor Claire kept saying "Daddy hurt. Daddy better" As a nice bonus for all of us his snoring has gone done to almost nothing so we can all share a hotel room and Claire will sleep!

- Took Claire to Crater Lake to meet friends for a long weekend. It was an awesome awesome trip. Claire loved playing outside and seeing all the babies and kids. She was notorious as an escapee. I was taking her for a walk and a couple stops and says, "Is that the little girl who kept running out of the lodge at top speed?" Doug and I also got to see a meteor shower at night. Well worth the drive.

- Just got back from a trip to California. DH got called to work at the last minute and we decided to make it a family trip. We drove down Tues night, wed morning and back on Sunday. It was a lot of fun. Since it was last minute and there weren't many hotels we stayed in the nicest room.. or actually rooms I've ever stayed in. The hotel room was 2 stories!!!! It had 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen! Wow! Didn't feel guilty about it though cause we spent the last 2 nights staying with friends. Claire especially loved going to the park with one set of friends and attending the post wedding party we went to on Saturday. She spent part of the part tossing a big beach ball over a porch railing to "KIDS!"

Mini Update

I've been a bit behind in the blog since we just enjoyed a wonderful 1.5 week visit from grandma and grandpa from PA. It was awesome watching Claire now that she's at an age to really interact with people. Complete with having "conversations" with grandma over dinner.

Grandma: "What did you do at the park today"
Claire: "Kite"
Grandma: "Yes, we did see a kite"
Claire: "Sky" (points up)
Grandma: "It was in the sky"
Claire: "Tree"
Grandma: "Yes, the kite crashed into a tree."

It's like someone finally opened up the vocabulary fountain. Every day there are more and more words. Some of them really amaze me because she will refer to something by name that I'm positive I haven't said to her in a month. And she's never used the word before then. For example yesterday she went to the craft drawer, brought me the finger paint and announced "Paint paint paint" and pointed at one of her pictures on the well. We hadn't painted in weeks and she'd never said paint before. It must have been filed away somewhere in her brain to be pulled at when something randomly clicked. It truly amazes me how they learn things.

The World According to Claire

Favorite Game

• Hat, Toes - Put something on your head and yell HAT! Immediately move it to your feet and yell TOES! Any object will work, a real hat, a piece of chicken, your book, that rock mom thought was too big for you too pick up...

Favorite New Skill

• TWO! - Cary around two of something and announce TWO! Two toothbrushes, two brooms, two books, etc

Favorite Food

• Anything red that can be stolen off the counter while wearing a white shirt. Strawberries are the best!
  

Favorite Toy

• The step stool daddy left in the kitchen. It's a chair, a table, a push toy, an excellent way of reaching strawberries on the counter

Favorite Books

• Which ever one mom or dad just finished reading for the second time. Just firmly push it back into a parents hand to signal repeat. Especially "The Giving Tree" (TREE), Mother Goose Treasury (GOOSE!), Curious George Treasury (Not sure what the word is but she says something for it)

Favorite Activity

• Tied between "Oooutside" and "AAA" AAA means attempting to write the letter A in crayon or asking someone to write letters. Right now she does a very good upside down V and is starting to get a slash across the bottom.

Multipurpose words

• Wheel - Anything circular including mommy's nose. Anything that creates movement like the rockers on the rocking chair
• DinDin - Any meal that is eaten in CHAIR

Whole Wheat Waffles Take 1

Corn, dairy, soy, nut free.

• 1 c Whole Wheat Flour
• 1 c Unbleached White Flour (Bleached can contain corn)
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 c water
• 1/2 c light olive oil (or other safe oil)
  
• 3 eggs
  

Combine all ingredients until smooth. Let sit 5 minutes while the waffle iron heats. Cook according to iron instructions. You will need a higher browning setting to get the same results as normal waffles. (Even then these will not brown great.)

• Freeze great! Reheat in a toaster oven or a pan with a little oil.
  
• Can substitute 2 teaspoons baking powder for the baking soda and cream of tartar if not worried about corn
• Can substitute rice or soy milk for water and they may brown better
• Next time I will be experimenting with increasing the eggs to 4.
  

Please Don't Teach My Child

Sometimes a really good book can turn your entire view of the world upside down, black becomes white, up becomes down, good becomes bad. I just finished reading "How Children Learn" by John Holt. My view of teaching and learning will never be the same.

Please don't teach my child. Answer her instead. I don't care how many times you point at a block and say blue. If she doesn't care about it's color you can't make her. Plus, quite frankly from my attempts to do just that, it's pretty boring from an adult point of view. If you aren't doing it for fun she's not going to think it's fun either. The last thing I want is for her to start thinking learning is boring. If you want to help her to learn stop pointing and look where she's pointing instead. I was totally set in my head that she should start learning colors. If I hadn't been paying attention to what she was doing I would have never realized what she really wanted to learn was letters! She's got a good part of the alphabet down with sounds and all I did is start saying and writing them when she asked. Who knows what she'll want to learn next but I'll be listening for the question.

Please don't quiz my child. Asking her what color the block is doesn't help her learn. It doesn't even tell you what she does or doesn't know. It just tells you if she's in the mood to respond to your questions or not. When you ask a question with a clear right or wrong answer one of two things will be true. Either she already knows the answer and wonders why you are acting like she might not. Or she doesn't know the answer and doesn't appreciate having you point out her ignorance. If you want to know what she knows stop for a minute and listen to her. I guarantee that if she knows something... and is interested in it you will hear all about it. Thanks to my daughter I know about every circular object (Wheel) in the house, including my nose. I know about every plane (ANE!) that passes over head and every letter printed in the sidewalk ("A A A") on the way to the park. If you stop and listen you will be amazed by how much she knows.

Please don't correct my child. Give her time and she will figure it out on her own. So she calls the purple pajamas blue? To us adults it looks like she has her colors confused. From her point of view she has figured out that blue is a color and colors are used to describe things you see. She's also figured out the general range of color blue applies to. Especially if she can't yet pronounce purple, blue is a really good word to pick. Oh, and by the way... technically she is right. Purple pajamas are blue, just with red mixed in too. Imagine if your boss sat over your shoulder and corrected every mistake you made the second you made it. Would you ever learn to figure things out yourself? Would you even feel like doing anything at all if someone pounced on you the moment it wasn't perfect? You ask, "How will she learn if we don't help?" Well the same way she learned that blue is a color. Watching and listening to the world. At some point she will notice everyone else using the word purple and then it will come naturally.

Please don't teach my child. Stand back and let her learn.

Sweep Cat!

Claire's first two word sentence is officially "Sweep Cat!" Even though it sounded more like "Sweet Cat!" She was walking around the house with her little broom saying "Sweet Sweet Sweet" while making sweeping motions. When she got to the cat her little face lit up and with much enthusiasm she yelled out "Sweet Cat!" and proceeded to do just that. The cat was not pleased with this turn of events.

Pineapple Carrot Muffins Take 1

Claire is allergic to something. We're still trying to figure out exactly what. Right now we're avoiding corn, dairy, soy, nuts and chick peas. Because of this I have to cook a lot of food from scratch. For example, even if I found a dairy/soy free muffin must liking it contains baking powder with contains corn starch which would have me up all night with a very unhappy child. Here's today's experiment. Please read the comments at the end before trying the recipe.

Pineapple Carrot Muffins

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. (350 if using convection.) Grease a nonstick muffin pan. (I use light olive oil and a pastry brush.)

• 1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour (ran out of pastry flour or I would have only used it)
• 5/8 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon coriander

Whisk together all the dry ingredients.

• 1/2 Grated Carrots
• 20 oz can pineapple chunks
  

Drain the pineapple and save the juice. Finely dice the chunks. (Next time I'm using crushed but I'm leaving the chunks for now since that's what I tested.) Measure 1 cup of diced chunks. Eat the rest or feed to impatient toddler hanging off your knee.

• 1 Large Egg (Eggs are not dairy.)
  
• 1/4 cup Maple Syrup
• 1/2 cup Light Olive Oil or Canola Oil

Whisk the wet ingredients together. Add enough water to the pineapple juice to equal 1 cup. Whisk into the wet ingredients. Add the dry ingredients, carrots and pineapple chunks to the wet ingredients. Stir until just combined. Spoon into 12 muffin tins. The batter will fill come almost to the top. (They did not overflow when I baked them... but I give no guarantees.) Bake until a toothpick inserted in a middle muffin comes out clean. (A few dry crumbs stuck don't count.) I think this will be about 20 minutes but at this point I had a very hungry toddler trying to cling to my neck so I'm not sure. Eat immediately or freeze. Muffins get stale after a day.

Comments:

• Got the toddler and husband seal of approval.
  
• Next time I'm using crushed pineapple. (Those of you who know me will realize that when I say dice I meant that I individually cut each chunk into 8 equal sized pieces. Yes I am that crazy. If you only have chunked pineapple just go over all of it with a knife for a while. Then maybe you will not have an impatient, starving child clinging to your neck.)
• Needs more carrots. They were way to understated in this version.
• If making for a toddler's breakfast preprep the ingredients the night before. Do NOT combine wet and dry ingredients until it is time to bake. I need to experiment with mixing the wet ingredients and letting them sit over night in the refrigerator.
  

How To Eat Pot Pie

(Shhh... Claire here... Don't tell mom I borrowed her computer.) Toddlers of the world I am here to warn you of one of the great parenting tricks, pot pie. It looks like steaming, flaky goodness but it is really a fraud. Parents use pot pie to hide things you don't like. They hope if you don't see it or if it's covered in warm gravy you just might eat it. However, despite these sneaky parents pot pie can still be a good meal. Here's how to have your pie and like it too! First, immediately eat off the flaky crust. It's the good stuff they are using to hide the bad stuff. If you save it till last it will just get soggy. Revel in eating each last bite while your tentative parents watch on praying you'll eventually get to the nutritious part they hid underneath. At this point careful dissection is required. Carefully sort through what was underneath. Every time you find a pea hold it up in the air and declare "PEA!" Then eat it with much enthusiasm. These are good! When done with a single pea chant "Pea Pea Pea" over and over while pointing at the pie pan. If you are really lucky a guilt ridden parent will fish a few more out for you. When you find a piece of carrot hold it up in the air with a look of complete disdain. These are evil. They may look good but they are not. Now glare at your parents while holding the carrot over the edge of your tray. If they do not get the hint and take it away immediately fling it on the floor and continue eating. For the first couple of carrots you may want to fling with out warning. That may teach them to leave out the carrots next time. Finally if you come to the meat you will have two options. If you are lucky there will be real hunks of meat. Enjoy those but don't comment on them. If your parents were "pressed for time" they may have gotten lazy and all you have is ground meat. In that case ignore it. They can do better. A couple meals without you eating any protein and they'll know it's time to up the quality. It's perfectly fine to leave it all on the plate. Just remember you have to fling the carrots. We will not tolerate evil!

Just One More Book Daddy

Every evening Claire and daddy have story time. It's a great way to make sure they have some quality time during the work week. Recently daddy started letting Claire pick out the books herself. He'll sit in the chair and say bring me 4 books. She'll go to the shelf and bring him a book. Then he'll say bring me 3 books and she'll bring him another, etc. When she brings the last he picks her up and starts to read. Two days ago she caught on to the pattern. Now she brings the first three books one at a time. When it's time for the last book she picks up two and brings them both back.

Child Directed Learning

I've been playing with the concept of child directed learning. That's where I follow Claire's lead on what she wants to learn. Even if I provide a new activity for her I try to leave her free to do what she wants with it. It's actually harder than I thought it would be. Today I decided to brave the finger paints again. While I was digging everything out Claire grabbed the colored pencils out of the drawer and motioned for me to open them. While I set up she happily dumped them out over the paper for finger painting. When I was ready I quickly picked them all up and put them away telling her it was time to do art. (Um... mom... I was trying to do art. Can I please have the pencils back!)

Since she hates getting her hands messy (unless it involves eating) I decided we would try stamping. I gave her a dish with 4 different colors of finger paint and 4 pieces of carrot to dip in the paint and stamp. She took one look at the setup, gave me a look and promptly flung the carrots on the ground. (Paints and food mom??? What are you thinking? And I don't even like to eat carrots.) Realizing there might need to be a little parental direction I picked up a carrot, dipped it in the paint and stamped it on the paper. At this point she was intrigued. She grabbed the carrot and proceeded to dip it into all of the paint. A little voice in my head was screaming "Ahhh, don't mix the paint like that. I gave you a carrot for each color." But I kept my mouth shut. It was a good thing since she produced lovely tie dyed circles and probably had more fun then if mommy had told her the right way.

We both enjoyed ourselves till the very end when she decided she was done and wanted to run through the house holding things covered in paint. I had to revert back from cool mommy to evil mommy as I forced an end of project clean up. Child directed learning stops the moment the fingerpaints start heading towards the couch!

Walking in the Rain

Sometimes the worst days are the best days. This morning I got my first cavity filled and then this afternoon Claire took a short nap. By 3:30 I felt like we should do something but didn't feel like doing anything if that makes sense. :) Since it stopped raining I decided we'd go looking for the pond that I saw behind a nearby park. We made it about 3 feet out the door and it started to rain again. For a second I almost turned back but then I remembered how much fun I had as a kid in the rain. This was Claire's first experience walking in the rain just for the fun of it. She kept pausing to look around and watch the water fall in puddles. At the edge of a sidewalk she panicked when I said we needed to step over a mini stream heading down the road. However in another 10 feet she accidentally stepped in a puddle. There was a brief pause as she stared down at the water surrounding her feet. Then she made a tentative stomp. Before I knew it she was happily stomping through puddles and grinning up at me. We never did make it to the pond. Just as we entered the park I heard thunder and saw a flash of lightening. Quick as a flash I scooped her up and we ran at top speed through the rain toward the house. By the time we got there hoods had blown back, we were soaked and Claire was laughing like this was the best thing that had happened all day. I hadn't even thought about my tooth once. It's times like that which make me truly love being a mom.

Death and Birth of a Blog

Perfectionism is the death of many endeavors... including the first attempt at this blog. I tried so hard for light, perfect funny writing I gave up after one and a half posts. This will be blogging take 2. Round two will not be as funny as I envisioned round one... but it will exist which is better than I was doing. :)